I decided to write my general birthday post that will cover every birthday post ever. In the form of a MadLib.

Dear friends,

So much has happened over the last year, you wouldn’t believe that I am trying to make it sound that I did more than eat, sleep and work (accomplishment) .

But let’s start at the beginning. With family. My two (number) children are amazing. I love them so much because I’m hoping their successes negate my failures (reason you love them). They’ve grown so much over the last year. Continue Reading…

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There’s a certain amount of elitism and entitlement mentality that comes with the “creative class” which I find disheartening.

I want to talk about web design and writing. I’ve been paid to web design for over 10 years. I want to get paid for writing.

I’m the first person to tell you that anyone can create a website. Whether that website will be effective and produce desired results is a different matter. This is how I feel about writing. Anyone can write, but whether it’s crap or not depends on the skill and experience of the writer. Continue Reading…

Category: Self-delusion isn't pretty | 2 - Leave a comment

I love my new phone. It’s an LG enV3 and it’s freakishly small like my hands. Now, I know what you’re thinking, how can you do anything fun with something so tiny. Well, it does get bigger. It folds open to a full keyboard.

Also, it fits comfortably in my pocket. Maybe I should have gotten an iPhone or a Blackberry to give my pants a nice comment inducing bulge, but I’m practical. I go dancing alot and it’s not pleasant to have something big and hard bouncing around down there when you dance. And though I’m happy to see my friends, I didn’t want them wondering if that was a phone in my pocket when I hugged them. Continue Reading…

Category: Using what I've got | 0 - Leave a comment

Dear Single Friends,

I feel blessed and lucky to have so many single friends because I can live vicariously through your stories. Your stories are exciting. I am married and therefore boring. I can’t remember the last time I woke up on a strange floor without my pants and my recollection of the last 8 hours. Like I said, I’m boring.

My naked stories usually involve getting peed on and a diaper change. Come to think of it, your stories involve getting peed on and a diaper change. However, my 2 year old does it for free which doesn’t make for an interesting story. Continue Reading…

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Jennifer Batten. My wife is about 6000 words into writing her fictional novel about a lead singer of a heavy metal band who decided to pull a JD Salinger at the top of his career. Last week, Torrie and I were talking about this lead singer’s band and Torrie mentioned that she imagined a female guitarist. Of course, I mentioned Jennifer Batten. If you’re into metal or guitars, she’s the most famous female guitarist. Jennifer wrote for Guitar magazine for years. She was the guitarist for the Bad, Dangerous and History World Tours, but I remember her from the Dirty Diana video.

Slash. Speaking of guitarists. Continue Reading…

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I have two friends who deejay alt/goth/EBM and 80′s music. They are awesome so I dance where they deejay and rarely go elsewhere.

One deejays at a club that’s an old cathedral, unimaginatively named The Church. Yes, that place is as cool as it sounds, unless you’re a young Servas guest from Poland from a Catholic family. Then, it’s just sacrilegious. I didn’t know. Oops. Continue Reading…

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