I love my new phone.  It’s an LG enV3 and it’s freakishly small like my hands.  Now, I know what you’re thinking.  How can you do anything fun with something so tiny.  Well, it does get bigger.  It folds open to a full keyboard.

Also, it fits comfortably in my pocket.  I could have gotten an iPhone or a Blackberry to give my pants a nice comment-inducing bulge, but I’m practical.  I go dancing often, and it’s not pleasant to have something big and hard bouncing around down there when you dance.  And though I’m happy to see my friends, I didn’t want them wondering if that was a phone in my pocket when I hugged them.

I must admit that I do get a little envious when I see someone playing with their iPhone in public.  They hold it out and caress it and and sometimes give their phones cute pet names.  Also, they can make their phones do all sorts of tricks like browsing and downloading apps.  They all seem so happy giving their iPhones a nice shake.

Phone envy is so unattractive, and maybe I should have gotten a phone that does nifty tricks, but I’m a one device one function kind of guy.  I don’t need my phone to play mp3s or hack SkyNet.   I call.  I text.  Occasionally, I take a photo.  It’s not fancy, but I do those things really well.  However, I’m still experimenting with Twitterpics and making my own ring tones.  I don’t want things to get stale.

When I tell people about my new phone, I find it annoying when people want to play the my-phone-is-better-than-your-phone game.  They whip out their phone and start fumbling with it, commenting on how easy it is to find directions to that great spot before realizing they don’t know which buttons to press.   Hey, I’m more than willing to give you bragging rights, but you better know how to use what you’ve got.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  Am I any good with what I’ve got?  Can I hammer a six inch spike through a board with my phone?

Well, not right now.