1. Stages of fatherhood. First, you’re a jungle gym. Then you’re a mediator. And then you’re an ATM.
2. Isn’t religion just the middleman that takes a cut every time you pray?
3. BFF shouldn’t be used for anyone who hasn’t helped you move a body.
4. I’m surprised child services hasn’t taken Dora the Explorer into protective custody.

Continue Reading…

Category: Stuff in my head | 1 - Leave a comment

I call it glam goth: Adam Lambert at the the American Music Awards, Lady Gaga’s photoshoot for Out magazine, Miley Cyrus in black eyeliner, Rihanna in a hasp collar, and sparkly vampires. Peter Murphy’s cameo in New moon is a long way from the opening scene of the Hunger. Bela Legosi really is dead. Goth is dead. Long live the new goth.

The gothsters (hipsters but wearing vinyl and platform heels) moan and groan that it’s not really goth. That it’s faux-goth. It’s surface level goth like Rihanna’s little foray into fetish wear in her Disturbia video.

Goth is much deeper and more meaningful like the Cure’s Lovecats. Continue Reading…

Category: I'm not goth | 0 - Leave a comment

A few days ago at Milk Bar, someone came up to me and said they liked watching me dance. It was the second time in a week. And even though neither time involved large bills and a pole, I chose to interpret them as compliments anyway.

Dance is a big part of my life. For that, I blame a girl. Tiffany stood me up on a fateful Wednesday 18 years ago. I can’t remember the name of bar, but they had alternative nights on Wednesdays. I waited 30 minutes and was just about to leave when Blister in the Sun started playing. Continue Reading…

Category: Dancing like no one is watching | 1 - Leave a comment

I decided to write my general birthday post that will cover every birthday post ever. In the form of a MadLib.

Dear friends,

So much has happened over the last year, you wouldn’t believe that I am trying to make it sound that I did more than eat, sleep and work (accomplishment) .

But let’s start at the beginning. With family. My two (number) children are amazing. I love them so much because I’m hoping their successes negate my failures (reason you love them). They’ve grown so much over the last year. Continue Reading…

Category: My friends don't care that I'm uncool | 2 - Leave a comment